I have never been this out of shape in my life. When I was in growing up and in school, I played sports. Between seasons, I wouldn't stay in shape. I could drink pop, sleep in, and not worry about what I ate. I knew paying for it would be hell that first week back, but I didn't care. My lungs would burn. My sides would ache. Once my legs shook so bad that I wasn't sure I could make it to a bench to sit down. Those are fond memories. I worked out four times this week. (Why does that not sound as impressive as it feels??) I also prayed to God that same amount of times that I would make it through. I didn't know my body could get this out of shape. This is insane! And I think my adolescent self would be shocked. But it's those bad habits that got me here.
But enough about me and my burning lungs...
I started a bible study book by Erin Keeley Marshall called "Navigating Route 20-Something." It's about life lessons you learn through your twenties. No, I'm not in denial about my real age, it's just an awesome book so far. I wish I would have read it sooner. I was/am pretty thick headed about things. I might not have got it then. My sassy side might have bragged that I already knew everything that book had to offer and I could have done a better job writing it. Who knows.
It's written from the point of view of someone who looked around one day and said "wow, this isn't where I thought I would be when I was this age." I can kinda relate. Just a little.
Apparently....Your twenties are when you develop habits that carry with you through out your life. You are making those fancy major life decisions that put you on the paths that you will follow for decades. Or so I thought. Life should be about following God's path for you. If you are following him, then no time is wasted. You aren't behind. Sometimes we can go on side paths or stray, but he still uses that for his glory.
I wonder what God thought about me making plans without asking him. Because at the time, I feel like I did. But really I did it because I expected a certain result. He never promised me that everything would happen in the time I wanted, or even felt like I needed it to. But I do feel like he put me on those paths for a reason. We learn to grow into those roles that we have set for ourselves. Play like we are playing grown-ups. Then one day you look around and realize you don't have to play. You just are. You work like crazy, then one day look around and realize there are goals or ideas that you had for your future that just aren't there. I never had focused on my personal life until recently. I tried to be a good friend. I tried to date. But I was more focused on getting through school and then getting a grasp on my career. I had no idea how to be a grown up, but I was really good at studying and going to work. Then one day, I just looked around. I can't even say I remember when specifically I noticed. One day, I just started feeling like I was alone in life. "Everyone else" was getting married, having babies, and managing careers. It was all I could do to pour myself into making it at work. I had no balance. Nor did I know where to begin. Maybe I was scared before. Maybe I just didn't care before. But suddenly, I felt very left behind. Very alone.
The first chapter in the book talks about those wilderness times in life. When God leads people into the wilderness to teach them how to be the incredible person they are meant to be. Moses. David. Incredible people like that. And although I would be crazy to compare myself to those people, I do know God loves me just as much as he loves them. And I might not be parting the Red Sea or becoming King of Israel or anything important like that, but he probably has a cool life plan picked out for me. (My wilderness even has bathrooms and central heating and air, so I figure it's a much better deal.)
It's those times in our life when God really gets a hold of us. It's those times where we fall in love with God. He plucks out those patches of weeds like bitterness and bad habits. He prunes us. And I needed a lot of pruning lately. He does this all in ways that are very effective. He knew exactly what would be effective with me. I can wander around the wilderness mad about being lost on my path asking "are we there yet?" Or I can get close to God and get prepared for greatness.
So I'm not just working out to look better in my jeans and get rid of that muffin top... I'm training for God's greatness.
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