Today most of my work out consisted of running back to the kitchen. Most of it was for water, but I did eat chips. Tomorrow is another day, and I will do better tomorrow.
I read a few chapters in my book. The first one is about dreams. It describes how God has dreams for us, but we don't always allow him to fulfill them. We might be scared, lazy, or ignorant. We might have low self esteem and subconciously believe that we are not worthy of God's love and that blessings that he gives us. I think I fall into the last category. I think there is a fine line between being a humble servant and believing that we are not worthy. At least there is in my mind.
The chapter also prompted me to think about my dreams. I have some career and personal goals that I would love to accomplish, but right now I have been doing a lot of soul-searching and personal building. I want to focus on that aspect. So I decided that I want to list some dreams of mine. Some goals.
1. I want to be someone who works out 4-5 times a week. This might not seem like a big deal to some people. This might not seem like a challenge in five years for me. However, right now that is a huge deal. I might think about working out 4 or 5 times a week, but until about a week ago, it definitely wasn't happening. I want to be someone who is healthy. I will never be someone who isn't curvy, but I am working on healthy. Healthy habits physically is the only way I can get there.
2. I want to build stronger friendships. I have a lot of amazing people in my life. I want to keep it that way.
3. I want to be more organized. I could go into a lot of details. But that would be super boring.
In the book, they list all these empowering scriptures that remind us to rely on God's strength, not our own to achieve these goals. I think that is the only way I will be able to meet my goals.
The next chapter is about emerging yourself in the word. Reading the words God has put together for each of us. It's our blueprint of understanding how to accomplish these things. The book continues to talk about how you much become sure in yourself. You have to accept who you are and know that God love you the way he made you. He made you this way for a reason, and that's the only way to truly be happy with yourself. I can change habits, but I am still always going to be the same person if I am true to myself. There is a lot more to be said about that. It's late, so I just take it at surface value.
Even if I didn't get a physical work out in tonight, I think I got an emotional one in. Why does that make you more tired?
Monday, February 25, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Day Negative Nine....
I have never been this out of shape in my life. When I was in growing up and in school, I played sports. Between seasons, I wouldn't stay in shape. I could drink pop, sleep in, and not worry about what I ate. I knew paying for it would be hell that first week back, but I didn't care. My lungs would burn. My sides would ache. Once my legs shook so bad that I wasn't sure I could make it to a bench to sit down. Those are fond memories. I worked out four times this week. (Why does that not sound as impressive as it feels??) I also prayed to God that same amount of times that I would make it through. I didn't know my body could get this out of shape. This is insane! And I think my adolescent self would be shocked. But it's those bad habits that got me here.
But enough about me and my burning lungs...
I started a bible study book by Erin Keeley Marshall called "Navigating Route 20-Something." It's about life lessons you learn through your twenties. No, I'm not in denial about my real age, it's just an awesome book so far. I wish I would have read it sooner. I was/am pretty thick headed about things. I might not have got it then. My sassy side might have bragged that I already knew everything that book had to offer and I could have done a better job writing it. Who knows.
It's written from the point of view of someone who looked around one day and said "wow, this isn't where I thought I would be when I was this age." I can kinda relate. Just a little.
Apparently....Your twenties are when you develop habits that carry with you through out your life. You are making those fancy major life decisions that put you on the paths that you will follow for decades. Or so I thought. Life should be about following God's path for you. If you are following him, then no time is wasted. You aren't behind. Sometimes we can go on side paths or stray, but he still uses that for his glory.
I wonder what God thought about me making plans without asking him. Because at the time, I feel like I did. But really I did it because I expected a certain result. He never promised me that everything would happen in the time I wanted, or even felt like I needed it to. But I do feel like he put me on those paths for a reason. We learn to grow into those roles that we have set for ourselves. Play like we are playing grown-ups. Then one day you look around and realize you don't have to play. You just are. You work like crazy, then one day look around and realize there are goals or ideas that you had for your future that just aren't there. I never had focused on my personal life until recently. I tried to be a good friend. I tried to date. But I was more focused on getting through school and then getting a grasp on my career. I had no idea how to be a grown up, but I was really good at studying and going to work. Then one day, I just looked around. I can't even say I remember when specifically I noticed. One day, I just started feeling like I was alone in life. "Everyone else" was getting married, having babies, and managing careers. It was all I could do to pour myself into making it at work. I had no balance. Nor did I know where to begin. Maybe I was scared before. Maybe I just didn't care before. But suddenly, I felt very left behind. Very alone.
The first chapter in the book talks about those wilderness times in life. When God leads people into the wilderness to teach them how to be the incredible person they are meant to be. Moses. David. Incredible people like that. And although I would be crazy to compare myself to those people, I do know God loves me just as much as he loves them. And I might not be parting the Red Sea or becoming King of Israel or anything important like that, but he probably has a cool life plan picked out for me. (My wilderness even has bathrooms and central heating and air, so I figure it's a much better deal.)
It's those times in our life when God really gets a hold of us. It's those times where we fall in love with God. He plucks out those patches of weeds like bitterness and bad habits. He prunes us. And I needed a lot of pruning lately. He does this all in ways that are very effective. He knew exactly what would be effective with me. I can wander around the wilderness mad about being lost on my path asking "are we there yet?" Or I can get close to God and get prepared for greatness.
So I'm not just working out to look better in my jeans and get rid of that muffin top... I'm training for God's greatness.
But enough about me and my burning lungs...
I started a bible study book by Erin Keeley Marshall called "Navigating Route 20-Something." It's about life lessons you learn through your twenties. No, I'm not in denial about my real age, it's just an awesome book so far. I wish I would have read it sooner. I was/am pretty thick headed about things. I might not have got it then. My sassy side might have bragged that I already knew everything that book had to offer and I could have done a better job writing it. Who knows.
It's written from the point of view of someone who looked around one day and said "wow, this isn't where I thought I would be when I was this age." I can kinda relate. Just a little.
Apparently....Your twenties are when you develop habits that carry with you through out your life. You are making those fancy major life decisions that put you on the paths that you will follow for decades. Or so I thought. Life should be about following God's path for you. If you are following him, then no time is wasted. You aren't behind. Sometimes we can go on side paths or stray, but he still uses that for his glory.
I wonder what God thought about me making plans without asking him. Because at the time, I feel like I did. But really I did it because I expected a certain result. He never promised me that everything would happen in the time I wanted, or even felt like I needed it to. But I do feel like he put me on those paths for a reason. We learn to grow into those roles that we have set for ourselves. Play like we are playing grown-ups. Then one day you look around and realize you don't have to play. You just are. You work like crazy, then one day look around and realize there are goals or ideas that you had for your future that just aren't there. I never had focused on my personal life until recently. I tried to be a good friend. I tried to date. But I was more focused on getting through school and then getting a grasp on my career. I had no idea how to be a grown up, but I was really good at studying and going to work. Then one day, I just looked around. I can't even say I remember when specifically I noticed. One day, I just started feeling like I was alone in life. "Everyone else" was getting married, having babies, and managing careers. It was all I could do to pour myself into making it at work. I had no balance. Nor did I know where to begin. Maybe I was scared before. Maybe I just didn't care before. But suddenly, I felt very left behind. Very alone.
The first chapter in the book talks about those wilderness times in life. When God leads people into the wilderness to teach them how to be the incredible person they are meant to be. Moses. David. Incredible people like that. And although I would be crazy to compare myself to those people, I do know God loves me just as much as he loves them. And I might not be parting the Red Sea or becoming King of Israel or anything important like that, but he probably has a cool life plan picked out for me. (My wilderness even has bathrooms and central heating and air, so I figure it's a much better deal.)
It's those times in our life when God really gets a hold of us. It's those times where we fall in love with God. He plucks out those patches of weeds like bitterness and bad habits. He prunes us. And I needed a lot of pruning lately. He does this all in ways that are very effective. He knew exactly what would be effective with me. I can wander around the wilderness mad about being lost on my path asking "are we there yet?" Or I can get close to God and get prepared for greatness.
So I'm not just working out to look better in my jeans and get rid of that muffin top... I'm training for God's greatness.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Day -14
I wanted to copy all the other zillion people out there and start a weight loss blog. I guess it's cheaper than weight watchers...
I have had a lot of constructive feedback on ways to improve my life lately. Some solicited, some free of charge... But hey, we all go through different season.
I decided to make some changes. One of which was go back to the gym. I decided that I really needed to get serious about making my body healthier about four months ago. It's easier to think about it than to actually do it. Plus, there are so many convenient excuses. I don't have time to go to the gym. I am a teacher and I need to be grading papers tonight. All those annoying New Years resolutions people will be there. Maybe if I just diet a little a few weeks before I go, then my fat rolls won't stick out of my work out clothes as bad.... Just me? Alright....
So today was my first day. I proudly walked into a gym that I have been paying a gym membership at for the last two years. I just prayed that my little card swipe thing was still working. Because they always have some sort of cute blonde sitting behind the desk filing her nails. The kind that works out twice a week and just looks good with her hair in a pony tail. She never gets to eat, so I guess it all works out in the end.
My card swipe works. I promptly escort myself to a treadmill that is discreetly located. Not one of those horrible ones on the end where everyone can just walk by and see that you are doing a 2.5 (whatever that means) with zero incline for fourteen minutes and your pulse rate is already up to 127. Not that they couldn't tell I was already out of shape by the marathon runner sweating I was doing on my 20 minutes of "what the heck are you doing?" body talk. My heart feels good, but the rest of my body is screaming out "I thought we had a deal. You eat and we pack it away for winter. It was a good plan." My legs are on fire. My butt hasn't giggled that much in months. But it's a start.
The thing healthy people don't tell unhealthy people is that the first few days back at the gym suck. You feel sick. It's a mixture of nausea, light headedness, and pain. Not enough to stop you from going back, just enough to make you remember your dieting sins from the time of your last work out. I'm not going to quit. I might drink more water next time, but I'm not going to quit.
I've had a lot of time to talk to myself out of going back to the gym. I have a full time job. I am fairly self sufficient. I have a masters. I don't go because I'm not disciplined. All of those things take time and energy I have invested to make it work. So why don't I got to the gym? And I really do enjoy working out. And the eye candy isn't bad either. (Hey, I'm a single lady. I've noticed where the unspoken "men's only" section of the gym is. And later, when my self confidence is back again, I'll wear the yoga pants.) But with all these pros and the only con being the flu like symptoms that will pass after a few weeks, what is my deal?
I have had a lot of constructive feedback on ways to improve my life lately. Some solicited, some free of charge... But hey, we all go through different season.
I decided to make some changes. One of which was go back to the gym. I decided that I really needed to get serious about making my body healthier about four months ago. It's easier to think about it than to actually do it. Plus, there are so many convenient excuses. I don't have time to go to the gym. I am a teacher and I need to be grading papers tonight. All those annoying New Years resolutions people will be there. Maybe if I just diet a little a few weeks before I go, then my fat rolls won't stick out of my work out clothes as bad.... Just me? Alright....
So today was my first day. I proudly walked into a gym that I have been paying a gym membership at for the last two years. I just prayed that my little card swipe thing was still working. Because they always have some sort of cute blonde sitting behind the desk filing her nails. The kind that works out twice a week and just looks good with her hair in a pony tail. She never gets to eat, so I guess it all works out in the end.
My card swipe works. I promptly escort myself to a treadmill that is discreetly located. Not one of those horrible ones on the end where everyone can just walk by and see that you are doing a 2.5 (whatever that means) with zero incline for fourteen minutes and your pulse rate is already up to 127. Not that they couldn't tell I was already out of shape by the marathon runner sweating I was doing on my 20 minutes of "what the heck are you doing?" body talk. My heart feels good, but the rest of my body is screaming out "I thought we had a deal. You eat and we pack it away for winter. It was a good plan." My legs are on fire. My butt hasn't giggled that much in months. But it's a start.
The thing healthy people don't tell unhealthy people is that the first few days back at the gym suck. You feel sick. It's a mixture of nausea, light headedness, and pain. Not enough to stop you from going back, just enough to make you remember your dieting sins from the time of your last work out. I'm not going to quit. I might drink more water next time, but I'm not going to quit.
I've had a lot of time to talk to myself out of going back to the gym. I have a full time job. I am fairly self sufficient. I have a masters. I don't go because I'm not disciplined. All of those things take time and energy I have invested to make it work. So why don't I got to the gym? And I really do enjoy working out. And the eye candy isn't bad either. (Hey, I'm a single lady. I've noticed where the unspoken "men's only" section of the gym is. And later, when my self confidence is back again, I'll wear the yoga pants.) But with all these pros and the only con being the flu like symptoms that will pass after a few weeks, what is my deal?
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