Create in me a Clean Heart

During today's walk (I've been sick, so I won't call my stroll a workout) I couldn't get this song out of my head:

 Create in me a clean hear, Oh God

And renew a right spirit within me

Create in me a clean hear, oh God

And renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from Thy presences, oh Lord

And take not Thy holy spirit from me

Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation

And renew a right spirit within me

Create in me a clean heart, oh God

And renew a right spirit within me

Create in me a clean heart, oh God

And renew a right spirit within me.

Caste me not away from Thy presence, oh Lord

Take not Thy holy spirit from me

Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation

And renew a right spirit within me.

Create in me a clean heart, oh God

And renew a right spirit within me

Create in me a clean heart, oh God

And renew a right spirit within me.

Caste me not away from Thy presence, oh Lord

Take not Thy holy spirit from me

Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation

And renew a right spirit within me.

I know this sounds silly, and not at all scientific or medically sound. But I couldn't help but wonder if exercise is how God cleans our physical heart. My body, his temple, is in need of cleansing as much as my soul. maybe even more. I am not even close to perfect. Nor are my eating and work out habits. I need to pray more while I'm working out. I'm not sure why my workouts are a source of anxiety for me, but lately they have been. I think I need to be cleansed in a physical sense, all the toxins and bad things that are in my blood stream and body need out. I need to be cleansed.

I also spent some of my walk talking to a neighbor who was out walking her dog. She has two sons. I went to high school with her youngest and worked with her oldest. During casual conversation, she asked me what my plans were for the future. I didn't feel like I had a good answer for her. I want to move out on my own very soon. I will be financial able to very soon as well. So why am I having such a hard time making up my mind where my next step would be. I'm a very decisive person. In fact, in relationships, I have sometimes been critizied for being too decisive. Not hearing out all of the evidence. That sort of thing. I have looked at apartments, even logically made the best choice for style and money. I am just not at peace about it. I have prayed. People and experiences have told me that God gives you four different answers when you pray. Yes. No. Not yet. And I have something better in mind. I know it's D, but it's still a very weird thing just hanging loose.

Teaching the teacher

Wow! It has been a very long time since my last post. Life gets busy this time of year for me. Plus a few other things. I was reading today about Jesus and his life. The article I was reading prompted the reader to examine his or her career to see if we were getting caught up in a circus of a career or if we were working towards a bigger purpose. God's purpose. Sometimes I feel very entitled and lazy. But I don't feel that way often at work. The article reminded me that even though this time of year is stressful, that my students work very hard to prepare for state testing, that I work very hard planning lessons for them, but even through all of that hard work, test scores do not matter in the big picture. The lessons the kids are learning are important, but it's more important that I teach them that hard work is the way to success. That it doesn't matter what happened last year, that if they work hard, we can do better this year. The lessons of hard work aren't something that we apply to just today. It's something that we apply everyday. And that's what will pay off. The self discipline that I try to instill in my students is definitely something that I need to adapt to fit a few other areas of my life. I think the older that I get, the more lessons I need to learn.